Time4
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Acting - Not for Real?
I have to ask those of
you that are/were a spouse of an addict. Did / Do you ever get the
feeling that addicts put on an act for your benefit?
My example is that in my relationship my addict will IMO mope
and be depressed around me. How do I know it's an act... well if
one of his friends calls or stops by it stops then as soon as he
hangs up or leaves it's back. Kind of like a switch he turns on
and off.
Is it a meth thing or a control thing? |
| message board replies... |
| queenb92 |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
I would say yes, cause I
had a few friends who would act like that every time they came
around me so that I would feel bad for them and get them high.
Its a little different situation but the same kind of acting
skills. They want people to feel bad for them |
Time4
Change |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
Yep that's exactly what I
was trying to spit out but couldn't quite get it out... it's
like he wants me to feel bad for him. On several occasions I've
caught him watching me as if to gauge my reaction. It's like
everything is an act... nothing is for real. |
| LoveMet |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
My fiancé' was not like
that but he did act around me. He would say he was tired and
just wanted to go to bed so I would not talk to him too much. Or
he would want to drink or smoke pot so I could not tell either.
Or my least favorite is he would waste money on those energy
pills and act like he had taken some if I felt his heart beat.
He thought that his act was perfect and to be honest that was
how he got caught by me because I could TELL it was an act. He
tried way too hard to act normal and would over explain
everything
|
| kmb2006 |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
My husband does the same
kind of thing. He gets depressed and forlorn, which I often
believe is just to play on my sympathy. He does the same to his
Dad and other family members as well as his closest non-using
friends. He's only upbeat when he's talking to or is around one
of the losers or our daughter. The sad thing is that I think
that the upbeat part is the act. I mean, everything in his life
has pretty much gone to crap because of his addiction - I'd be
depressed too if I were him. |
| TnSkye |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
Yeah, even now.
He comes to visit our daughter and appears to be so low and
depressed, like the world is against him.
First stupid commercial to come on, he dies out with his
cackling laughter and almost rolls in the floor.
From one extreme to another with the flip of a switch. |
| RedHurt |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
This happens to me all
the time, my ex will still do me this way. With me and our kids
he acts so pitiful it is not even funny, like he has lost his
last friend, but let one of his user buddies call and the world
is wonderful. It is so bad, that even the kids say "well is Dad
coming over to give us the pitiful trip again".
Of course when I bring it up he says he doesn't act that way, it
is just a reason for me to complain..... |
| queenb92 |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
See I didn't pull the
pity act but for some reason I always fell for it. People always
took advantage of it too cause they knew I would fall for it |
another
family
messedup
bymeth |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
My ex was a very good
actor. So good he even fools himself. |
Time4
Change |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
Thanks for the replies.
Even though I should know that I'm not a too far off base I need
a little reassurance sometimes. I don't know why but being
strong and staying strong is really hard for me.
Things get complacent and I find myself slipping backwards into
the same rut of feelings and falling for manipulation and guilt
trips. It's like I have to keep my guard up 24/7. I don't like
to see anyone miserable... even though I know his misery is self
inflicted |
Rachelsue
76 |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
Quote:
My example is that in my relationship
my addict will IMO mope act depressed around me. How do I
know it's an act... well if one of his friends calls or
stops by it stops then as soon as he hangs up or leaves it's
back. Kind of like a switch he turns on and off.
My husband does this all the time. But, I
think that it is easier to talk to his friends that were not
personally effected by his use. I think that for that little bit
of time while he is talking to them that he feels like things
are not so hopeless. They are guys ya know? They don't talk
about the kind of stuff that I want to talk to him about. But,
the guys that he talks to are not people that he has used with
though. They are straight and they talk about cars and
motorcycles and work.
They don't want to talk to him about feelings or addiction or
anything monumental. |
Time4
Change |
Re: Acting - Not for Real?
Yeah, you've got a point
the more I think about it he acts that way around the people
that know and are effected by is addiction... His family and
friends that know about his situation.
Funny thing is he's been this way with me even before I knew
about the meth. I think it was his way of controlling me and
keeping me off balance so I wouldn't figure it all out. But now
that I do know it's still the same. I guess it's a learned
behavior that hard to break. |
